I was at work yesterday, trying to get caught up after a weather-induced long weekend, when four o’ clock began to approach, marking the eighth hour at my desk. I had completed more than one day’s worth of work but there was another eight hours of work that had accumulated while I was watching the snow drift higher across my driveway on Friday. Before I took my current position, I had a set schedule that would have me out the door at five. I was debating what to do. Should I stay for a half hour longer and get a bit more done or should I get out of there? I was just about to stick around a bit longer when a new song in my iPod library began.
It is a song by Justin McRoberts called “Picture of You” and it brought back memories of a tragic story I heard not too long ago, at a men’s retreat a couple months back through our church. Nobody has yet told me what we were retreating from, but that’s another story.
Justin played a set for the men on the first night. From what I have learned about him since then, this was really not his normal venue. He usually sings on college campuses and other places where the listeners are… well… younger. A large group of men, mostly between the ages of 40 and 60, comprised this audience. There were some who were younger, including myself, but the college age was rather under represented. Somebody had to contact him to ask him to travel out in the middle of nowhere on snowy roads and he had to agree to sing in this venue, but looking back it just doesn’t seem like the ideal fit. The only reason I have for Justin to be there at all is by an act of providence. Nothing else makes sense.
He sang a set that was about an hour and a half long, pausing between songs now and then to tell us a story from his life. Some were funny, most had come from a lot of reflection. One in particular came straight from a broken heart. The story that stands out the most is about his father. His father was the picture of the self-made man. From my recollection, he started his own company and was quite well to do. As is often the case in America, he defined himself ultimately by his successes, and fell into the trap of pride. Eventually though, his business was bought out and he was released from his employment.
He committed suicide nine years ago in his back yard, having no further reason to go on. His success that had defined him was no more and he had no solid ground to stand upon.
Justin stressed to the now silent group of men that you cannot fall into such a trap. We have no business defining ourselves by our strengths. To define yourself by anything that is from within you is to set yourself up for a painful fall. This goes for the individual, and especially for the local church. As Christians, we must continually define ourself by what has been done for us by Christ, not by what we have done. As soon as we look to our own exploits, we look away from the greatest victory of all. There is folly in the victory of man, but there is power in the foolishness of the cross.
Justin has written several songs about his father. He expresses himself best in song, seeing his songs as a type of journal about his walk with Christ. The song I heard when I was contemplating staying at work a bit longer is one such song about his father. I presume it came to him while going through some old photo albums, as you can almost see the picture through his lyrics.
It is a song about a young boy who adores his dad. In the eyes of a child, your dad is the strongest force in the whole world! He looks at this picture and remembers all of the good times and how happy his dad was. And then he remembers how the corporate world snatched his dad away and eventually stole his father’s very heart. Nonetheless, his dad worked hard and still found contentment through his successes in the business world. But when his dad looked back on his life on the other side of employment, after the business had burned up his zeal and left him behind, he no longer had the source of his pride. And this pride had been all that kept him going.
I beg you not to fall into that trap. Hurry home to your children whenever you are apart. Cherish the times you have with them and don’t be afraid to make memories with them, no matter how undignified it may seem. Above all, model for them what it means to find your security in something you cannot achieve, but has been achieved on your behalf in the life, death and resurrection of Christ. Children learn from your life more than what your words can convey. Define the terms of victory in a battle already won, not in a battle that you can only lose.
At Coffee Swirls there’s an essay on what you do is what defines you, (not who? or your relations with “other”?).
[...] Coffee Swirls there’s an essay on what you do is what defines you, (not who? or your relations with [...]
At the same time, do not fall into the same trap regarding your children. The pride of lovely children or of Godly children. Do not be defined by your children or even your walk, only by God grace and His love. For ALL good things come from Him
Doug,
I’d like to think this is true, but no organization on the face of the planet forces people into the very pit you discuss than the American Church.
I’m a stay-at-home dad with a degree in education. I homeschool my son. He reads and comprehends five grades above his level. Does math two grades above his level. Though he’s only a Kindergartner, we were discussing the elemental components of the freon molecule the other day.
I also work from home as a freelance writer, having written for some of the most successful companies in the world. I also run our farm.
Yet I’m perpetually hounded by well-meaning Christians who ridicule my wife and me over the tough decision we were forced to make years ago that led to me being at home. I’ve had Christians ask me when I was going to get a real job, despite the fact that I have a real job as a freelancer and as the manager of our small farm. I’ve had Christians tell me I’m worse than an unbeliever because my wife currently makes more money than I do. When I’ve begged off of some church-related projects because I was swamped, I’ve had Christians wonder out loud, “How can you be swamped? You don’t have any responsibilities.”
So, I would love to believe that what we “do” has little impact on who we are. But as long as the majority of people in the pews act like what I’ve described, that hope is a pipe dream. And it’s not getting any better.
Not-so-anonymous,
I make no apology for being a Christian, however, an apology is needed for the way you have been treated by those who eroneously (with judgement) profess themselves to be. I do not know the extent of your background, but I can tell you one of the greatest experiences of my life was in an organized church service. I was 9 years old when I recieved the baptism of the Holy Ghost (Acts chapter 2) and although the journey from that time until now(34 years old) has seen its ups and downs, I have personally learned that the way christ described his church was the way he treated people, with respect and decency. You evidently were not treated this way and for that I offer an apology. Look for the church that most resembles the nature of christ, there you will find a people who love their brethren.
@ Not so,
Maybe you should not lump all Churches togetherby the response of one or two, just like you are wrongly being lumped into a less than appreciated position in society.
Possibly a more mature Church would take time to know your family and their situation without unthoughtful condemnation.
If your family was going without necessities and you were not contributing to income for the family, well, maybe there would be reason for others to have you reconsider your situation. But if things are going well I don’t think you would be condemned.
I would try not to allow others to cause me to leave what God has for me.
Rick B,
“But if things are going well, I don’t think you would be condemned.”
Oh my.
Think a little more about what you wrote. It’s highly pragmatic. Pragmatism is NOT a Christian thought system, by any means.
First of all, your statement is not true. People condemn any and all situations that do not look exactly like their own. Sometimes they don’t look exactly the same because of sin. And sometimes they don’t look exactly the same because they are simply different. What would the typical church say about two unmarried adult women living with their unmarried adult brother in a house together? Wouldn’t we think it a little odd? Wouldn’t their situation get our tongues wagging? Wouldn’t we try to do something about changing them? If so, we would be forcibly changing Mary, Martha, and Lazarus.
Second of all, on the pragmatism point, are we found right in Christ only if all things are going well? What would we say about the Apostle Paul being shipwrecked, going hungry, being beaten, and so on? Is he not a righetous servant of Christ because of afflictions?
God help us! If this is our attitude toward fellow believers who fall on hard times for any reason, God help us! Pragmatism is the American religion, but it’s not of God. Yet how we worship that false religion! In fact, perhaps it’s the Christians who have everything perfect in their lives who are truly missing the boat. Perhaps they’re so snug in their McMansions, enjoying their vacations to Bermuda, and the private Christians schools for their children, that they’ve missed the entire Gospel. Perhaps they will stand before the Lord and see everything they thought was good and right burn before their very eyes because it was dross.
C’mon, Rick! Seriously.
I believe in a merciful, loving, and all-knowing God of the universe, he came to live among us and show us a way of life that is uncomprehendable… simply look at the sermon on the mount to understand what I am saying. I would point out that all through history, people have fallen short of the glory of God, however, we can either choose to live a life of service to God, or a life of service to man. God gives us the right to make our own decision. I believe if you truly look at what is being said when Jesus stated “Give and it shall be given..” that in our daily lives, we are ridiculed and put down, our response should be to give what we ourselves are seeking… give grace to those that don’t deserve it, live out of forgiveness, because God forgave us. Our lives are more than what we are, it all resides in how we live out what we say… not just to say it, but to live it…
I guess my main point here is that we can’t change others – we can however change ourselves, live out our lives for Christ and show his love to all of those around us, even if we think they don’t deserve it due to whatever they may say or do to us… our responsibility is to live for God.
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I also work from home as a freelance writer, having written for some of the most successful companies in the world. I also run our farm.