CoffeeSwirls

Life Isn't Measured by Generations

Tina's grandmother is not doing well, and yesterday evening was so hectic that I didn't have much of a chance to get the word out. I'm not sure where to begin in this story, to be honest with you. I could start at the middle, near the end, but that really wouldn't be right. I'll take us back about 2½ years.

Marie had been living by herself in a nice, but expensive apartment in Des Moines, but the frequent falls were troubling us all. At that time, she was 86 years old, and her coherence was starting to fade a bit. She stayed with Tom and Cathi for a bit, and then one of her falls injured her to the point where she couldn't be cared for at home and she was rushed to the hospital.

I remember that day, looking at her. Her mouth looked propped open, and there was no movement in her chest, or anywhere else for that matter. Many of her family members came to say their last good-byes as she lay there. Tina asked me, as she usually does when things look grim for a loved one if she would be OK. I usually try to reassure her, but this time I couldn't help but say that I didn't think she had long to be with us.

She didn't have the use of her arm for quite a while and was moved to a wheelchair or walker, depending on the situation, but she outlasted her nursing home insurance (2 years) and with her financial reserves dwindling, she moved back into Tom and Cathi's home.

Tom loves his mom and would spend hours every day with her in her basement home. It's actually quite nice. She has her own bedroom and a full bathroom, plus a table to eat at and a living room big enough for her organ, which she loves to play. Her younger grandchildren would complain when she played it, but now they would love to hear one of her songs. I'd say that this would never happen, but I've been wrong before and don't want to make another wrong prediction like this.

Managing her pills and her basic healthcare has been the self-appointed duties of Cathi, her daughter-in-law who Marie never seemed to like until she noticed that Cathi was her most regular visitor at the nursing home. In fact, the family that Tom married into saw her on a frequent basis there, and made sure she was comfortable. When she couldn't stay there any longer, she moved into their home and visiting nurses came a few times a week and made sure she was healthy. Cathi, we all thank you for the love you have shown Marie through this time.

Also, in this time, we have all seen that she seems to be losing touch with reality, speaking with people who aren't there, arguing with them and not recognizing her own family members when they stop down to see her. It's sad, and this has torn Tom from the inside out.

I wonder if he isn't thinking that this is happening to someone only one generation ahead of him. Could his own mortality be bothering him? I can see why it would, really.

Just yesterday, I remember being a carefree 17 year old kid, doing whatever suited me and going wherever my '85 Ford Escort would take me. Life was good and I was going to last forever. Now, I'm in my 30's and have a wife, son and a mortgage. Where did all of the time go? I usually figure 25 years or so between generations as a rule of thumb, at least for that era, and if your parents have passed on, you know for sure that life goes on until your allotted number of days has expired. Job 14:5

My father isn't as nimble as I remember. My grandmother recently went through a major surgery. At some times, we tend to measure life in generations, but all we can do is learn the lessons of those before us and live each day to the fullest. The best way to do this is to love God with all of our hearts. I plan on writing more about this in the near future, for we cannot allow uncertainties to rule our lives. We need to measure our time in the days given us by God, not in the generations that we barely see as we race through the days we are given. Remember: This is the day the Lord has made! And He didn't make it for us to worry about the future, because He has already designed our path in advance.