CoffeeSwirls

If we Christians are Intolerant...

The intolerance of the Dutch is just as bad, if not worse! I mean, who's looking out for the rights of the animals? That pony may very well have been in love, and the state is trying to determine what constitutes a natural union. The man and his love-steed weren't hurting anybody and this doesn't affect your marriage, so what's the big deal? Your children leard morality from the schools, not from their parents, so do as you wish!

Do you see the absurdity of this argument?

It won't be long before polygamists demand the right to marry several women, heck they already do. What about male polygamists who want to marry inside a group of men? Can fraternity brothers become fraternity spouses? What about my sister and brother-in-law? I love them both and would make a great step-dad for their baby, who is coming soon. I'm already going to be an uncle, so why not add step-dad to the title? It's nothing but a title, right?

I really like the set of golf clubs I received as a gift last summer. I suppose you could say that I loved them when I got them. My love for them outlasted the typical Hollywood marriage, so why couldn't we have made something meaningful out of it? Make it official, you know? The legal hurdle for the golf club idea isn't the fact that the clubs are inanimate objects, though. The problem is two-fold:

1. Swing your spouse by their ankles and use their head to hit a ball that's resting on the ground. Make a divit with their forehead on the turf. Throw them in a bag and leave them there until you are ready to abuse them like that again. Then run from the law. The cases of spousal abuse toward golfing equiptment would be many, and this is a mild version!
2. Most people out there (my father excluded) who own golf clubs have clubs that are under the age of 14. Many states use that magical age to determine when a minor can become married with parental and the court's consent. So for most people out there, marrying your golf clubs could get you convicted of statutory rape.

I'm not prepared to be convicted of spousal abuse and statutory rape just to proclaim my love for my golf clubs. Have you heard what they do to guys with those convictions in the big house? I tell you, even armed robbers have morals at times. It's too bad that there are elected officials and judges of the people who do not. Or do I have it all wrong?

Is homosexual marriage just a matter of the minority of sinners pushing the envelope of the majority's patience or is this a matter of the whitewash on our society peeling away due to poor maintenence? Has our rebellion against God's plans for our lives come out to the open? Is this issue coming up now just because of our own cultural erosion? Is a flea market just another way to find potential mates? There are some of-age appliances to be found out there, you know, and some of those vintage toasters are rather shapely...

Just check the manufacturere date first and marry only one appliance. At least until the next round of marriage-stretching lawsuits comes around. Then you can marry the whole thrift store, and sue the owner when they don't let you walk freely from their property with your own spouses.