Glossary of Verbage
Posted by Doug McHone on 03 May 2004 at 11:24 am | Tagged as: Spiritual Growth
I have a tendency to make up my own verbage from time-to-time. I also am on the lookout for other sayings that depict scenarios that could be defined with a sentence, but a word gets the point across.
1%: This usually refers to a weak message. Ideally, one would attend a church as a new member, and be started out with a diet of spiritual milk. Later, they would move on to the meat. 1% is the grade of milk between skim (children’s church) and 2% (children’s Sunday School). When used to describe a sermon, it is a strong complaint.
Example: “That sermon was barely even 1%! Let’s try another church next week.”
Bumper sticker theology: Any time you try to sell bits and pieces of truth that has been stretched into the image you prefer for the sake of financial gain, you are guilty of committing the sin of bumper sticker theology.
Examples: “The Prayer of Jabez,” “The Last Temptation of Christ” and many other books, movies, jewelry, and other items can be lumped into this category. Note: Not all religious items belong in here. The litmus test is a matter of sound theology and the purpose of the item.
Chreasters: Certain people from the community that are only seen in a church for Christmas and Easter. It is the opinion of CoffeeSwirls that the church does them a vast disservice by sprucing everything up and presenting itself to be a place of glee and merriment, rather than a place of comfort and rest. If the only gospel someone hears is the same message and the same songs and the same displays of worldliness year in and year out, why should they come any more than they have to?
Credit: Norma
Contrail: When a jet passes overhead, the exhaust that is visible is referred to as the contrail. Sometimes you can see the contrail long after the jet has passed over the horizon. A contrail in a spiritual sense is the lingering examples of your former self.
Examples: swearing, using the Lord’s name in vain, lusting after people other than a spouse, a refusal to forgive.
Cotton Candy: Anything that seems good at the time, but leaves you feeling cheated, sick and dirty. Cotton candy is often used to fill the God-shaped hole, but when put to the test, it dissolves, leaving you empty inside.
Examples: “That sermon was pure cotton candy. What a bunch of meaningless fluff!” and “Don’t fall for the cotton candy of sinful pleasures.”
Evanjellyfish: Evanjellyfish can swim quite fluidly in their natural habitat, but quickly dissolve when they come ashore. They are spineless creatures, stinging unspecting others needlessly. They may look pretty and wonderful, but it is a wise person who looks at them from afar, but never approaches them.
God-shaped hole: The longing for something fulfilling in a person’s life. Many people will try to fill this hole with the pleasures of the world, only to find that they do not fit their needs. Only a lucky few ever find the correct match for this void, and since God fits the hole perfectly, the ballast that was used to provide sustanence begins to be chased out as there is no room for these things any longer. Currently under review for accuracy
Example: “There’s a God-shaped hole in all of us.”
Credit: many sources.
Marinate: To meditate on the word of God and/or to pray in a manner where you seek to conform your mind to the will of God, rather than conform His will to your own desires, no matter how noble your intentions may be.
Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Just as food takes on the flavor of the marinade in proportion to the strength of the solution and the time spent submerged in it, the goal of marinating your mind is to “flavor” your life to resemble that of Christ more and more.
MEology: The study of the self with the usually unspoken result of making oneself out to be like God. MEology tries to build up the good found within a person in the hopes that this good can serve the needs of a god who is unable to act on his own wishes.
Saltshaker: A person who spreads salt around him or her. See Matthew 5:13. A saltshaker is used to share the gospel with the world around them and to make a pleasing living testimony to the power of the Lord.
Example: That person is a true saltshaker. Look at how they are caring for others around them!
Skyscraper Sermon: A sermon that is not grounded in scripture, but is comprised of one story on top of another for the purpose of… um… entertaining the tithers, I suppose.
Credit: Don A. Elbourne Jr.
Slurpees (A.K.A. 7/11 songs): Any song sung at church for the reason of musical enjoyment first, with praise directed to the Lord a hopeful, secondary result. These songs are characterized as having the same seven (or so) words, being repeated over and over eleven (or so) times.
Examples: “Let us dance in the aisles with our tambourines as we sing slurpees to ourselves!” and “I got the spirit of the song, but where was the truth? It was sooo 7/11, if you know what I mean.”
Credit: Tim Irvin
Spiritual Hitchhiking: A Spiritual Hitchhiker is someone who attaches themselves to a popular author, depending solely upon that person for their own spiritual growth to the neglect of personal devotion.
1 Corinthians 1:12-15
…One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.” Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into the name of Paul? I am thankful that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, so no one can say that you were baptized into my name.
These authors had to spend time in the Word before they could write about it. They are no greater than you; we all have the same Holy Spirit. Keep reading their books, but don’t let it replace or diminish the time spent with God in His Word and in prayer.
Credit: Tim Irvin
Spiritual Limp: Much like the contrail, but this is a lingering reminder of what your iniquities have wrought for you. Oftentimes, the limp is never fully gone until you are restored at the side of Jesus.
Example: “To this day, I still walk with a spiritual limp that reminds me to stay close to the Good Shepherd.”
Credit: Gettin’ There by Steve Farrar.
Trickle-Down Worship:
Wingman: A person who will stick by you during a difficult time in your life. They offer prayer and moral support. Often, you will find that the difficulties in your life are not unique to you and you can build each other up.
Examble: “This is a difficult problem in my life for me to tackle alone. I don’t know if I can stay true to my task alone. I need a wingman.”
Did I mention that I am seeking more terms like this? Let me know of any goodies that come to mind!
I am actually compiling a “dictionary” of Christian cliches. Once it’s in a viewable format I intend to put it on my site. There’s some good stuff there…
7/11 is a good one. A song that repeats the same 7 words 11 times!
Ooh, I like that one. Mr. Data, Make it so! (stealing a line from someone who stole the same line).
For the sake of alphabetization, I will place it as a synonym term of 7/11’s most famous item, the slurpee.
Check out the article on my site… “Spiritual Hitchhiking” and see if the phrase qualifies for your glossary.
That’s a great one! I’ll add it and link back to your post.
You attributed the “God-shaped hole” to multiple sources. You might be interested in knowing that it finds its origin in Blaise Pascal’s Pensées, though interestingly he never uses those words himself. He says that there is a void within us which only God can fill, although we attempt to fill it with pleasures, sex, and other God-substitutes. I believe Pascal is articulating the same ideas that Augustine did in the first few paragraphs of his Confessions.
My pastor frequently uses the meditate/marinate analogy as well.
I call my adult children Chreasters–they attend church on Christmas and Easter (and Mother’s Day if I’m lucky).
I really like the “MEology.” Sometimes at the “informal” or “contemporary” service I count the “me” and “I” references in the songs.
I’ll add Chreasters, and also Evanjellyfish today. This list does need some update, but that’s all part of the fun, isn’t it?
A friend of mine coined the term “Peep” for a sermon with a similar definition to what you have for Cotton Candy.
Homily = sermon …
Homilette = not quite a sermon.
(I have found the term useful, anyway!
Here’s one I heard as the consequence of some poor preaching at a “Bible” conference.
RDN Method of preaching - Read the text, Repart from the text, Never return to the text.
Sorry, that’s Depart from the text.
How about “osmosis salvation”. As I used it in this post –
http://www.neighborhood-bible.org/blog/?p=43
Saddly many christians without salvation themselves believe that by encouraging the “unchurched” to follow their example, life, leadership, or involvement in church it will make one a christian. So the “unchurched” becomes “churched” and receives “osmosis salvation”
Hebonics (see: Ebonics)
The salting of English conversation or teaching with Hebrew words or phrases, (not meaning proper use of the Hebrew definitions or Jewish culture and history, but usually used for the purpose of intimidating the hearer with the idea that the “Hebonics” speaker has certain insights into either the Jewish culture, history and/or hidden meanings not understood by the ignorant hearer.
Usually Hebonics speakers can only understand each other.
how about these bible titles:
The New American Double Standard
The Compromisers N.T.
The 21 century Altered Version
The Erroneous Bible
The New Double Speak Version
The First Book of Hesitation
The Gold Grabbers New Testament
and these Church names:
Over- reachers Faith Center
First Church of Assumption
Consumers Christian Church