You know you’ve had too much coffee when…
Posted by Doug McHone on 06 May 2005 at 06:00 am | Tagged as: Skunkbusters
- Juan Valdez names his donkey after you.
- You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You watch videos in fast-forward.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
- You can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.
- You don’t sweat, you percolate.
- You’ve worn out the handle on your favorite coffee mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You’ve worn the finish off you coffee table.
- The Taster’s Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbuck’s owns the mortgage on your house.
- You’re so wired you pick up FM radio.
- Your life’s goal is to “amount to a hill of beans.”
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.
- You name your cats Cream and Sugar.
- Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.
- Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
- Who am I kidding? There’s no such thing as too much coffee!
Jennifer, darling, you simply need to get yourself one of those modest personal percolators for your *own* use! We’ve had dual percolators for eons and it’s a real marriage saver. Besides, the non-coffee spouse really ought to defer to the coffee drinker. After all, who will be awake late at night to retaliate one day? lol
So…..I like coffee. No, I love coffee. But I could give it up if I wanted….really…..